Terror and Romance
by TGyamiBakura
Summary: A chance meeting allows Shinobu to harass Misaki, a fellow uke, about deepening his sexual knowledge. How does Misaki handle that? Can Misaki keep it purely educational? MisakixShinobu
1. A terrorist

**Terror and Romance****  
TGyamiBakura  
Rating: M for sex later and swearing XD  
Warnings: Minor, yaoi, fluff, non-cannon, MisakixShinobu. Seme!Misaki. Oh how I love to be difficult  
Summary: A chance meeting allows Shinobu to harass Misaki, a fellow uke about deepening his sexual knowledge. How does Misaki handle that? Will it destroy his relationship with Usagi? MisakixShinobu RATING WILL GO UP**

Written because I love uke!sex and pissing people off. Inspired by the Junjou Romantica kink meme. I would have posted it there, but it's a story I would like to pursue so I won't? XD

XXXxxxXXX

I twitch, sipping my tea. The boy before me looked extremely angry… and he's seemingly trying to BURN me with his eyes. This kid is creepy… I wonder what Usagi-san would think of him.

I had to go to the school to hand in my term paper to Professor Kamijou. I bumped into him on the bus and he yelled at me before sitting next to me. I'm sure he didn't _want_ to sit next to me. There had just been no more available seats…

… What does that say about me? Am I unapproachable or something? Angst…

When we reached the school I got off, and apparently he had to go there too cause he followed… Which seemed pretty weird at the time. He's small, has caramel blonde hair and well… He looks like a high school student. He doesn't look like he should be in a University But whatever.

He ignored me the whole way so after the first two attempts, I stopped trying to make small talk and just walked to the university. I didn't notice he was still following until I reached Kamijou's office. I turned around and looked at him oddly, hoping he wasn't stalking me or something.

"Are you going here too?" I asked. He nodded curtly before rudely pushing past me, opening the door to the office. Uh… Is it okay to just go in without knocking? He stomped to the couch in the corner and sitting like he owns the place. Kamijou wasn't there. I knew I should have left to come back at a later time but this kid… he like, forced me to come in or something

"_Are you going to sit down or what?"_

"_Uh…yeah sure!"_

Okay… maybe I just was too freaked out to disagree with him at the time. Leave me alone! I was in distress!

So here I am, sitting in front of him, sipping tea casually, waiting for Kamijou to come so I can get my ass away from this little freak!

xx

We sit in silence for a few minutes. I swear he's trying to murder me with his eyes. He's wearing a brown sleeveless jumper with his school's crest on it and a white shirt underneath. So he _isn't_ from this school then. I try to make sense of why he's glaring at me so extremely. It's creepy and… a little attractive how his caramel colored locks just slightly shadow his eyes like that.

" Soooo, uhh… I'm Takahashi Miaski. I'm 19 and I go to this university, And you are…?" Silence.Um… Awkward…? "S-So are you a high school student?" I ask, trying desperately to quell the dark, ominous atmosphere that has fallen over us. I don't like awkward silences.

"You're gay," He says suddenly, making me jump. I…Uh… What?!

"H-huh?" I say nervously hoping I heard him wrong, nearly dropping my tea in the process. He folds his fingers together and leans on his elbows on the coffee table, looking at me.

"I can tell… You like guys don't you?" I try to smile disbelievingly, feeling my lips twitch as I do so. This kid… who does he think he is?! D-Does it _look_ like I'm gay? Do I really give off homosexual pheromones?! Oh god… Nii-chan… What did I do to deserve this?!

"Wh-What are you talking about?" I say with a laugh, sipping my tea, trying to quell my freaking out session I'm having right now. This kid…

"Teach me…" What..? T-teach him? Teach him what?! I put my tea down and smile nervously.

"T-teach you? Why do you keep saying weird things? I don't even know you…and you're calling me gay? That's a bit rude don't you thin—" He slams his tea down on the table and his glare seems to get even more eviler… Creepy!

"My name is Takatsuki Shinobu. I'm eighteen and I have a boyfriend," I blink. Ooookayy…. So he's gay…

_As well…_

NO! I will never admit I'm gay! I'm perfectly happy in the closet thanks!

"And…I need to know this why?" He looks away, his face reddening a bit. He looks nervous now. Hah! I made him nervous. That's one point I have against Creepy high school kid!

"I…I'm the submissive one in our relationship. From what I can tell, you're also submissive. You're older… So you must have more experience with these kind of things, correct?" It takes a few moments for what he says to sink into my head and I blush furiously. H-He's talking about _that_?! I look at my knees and I can't stop my voice from sputtering incoherently.

"Y-Y-Y… Look I…I that's not t-t-t.." He looks up, his face serious and business-like again.

"You're smaller in stature, skinny and you look like a girl. You're too much of an insecure idiot to top anybody," K-KUh! HOW DARE HE!!

I stand up balling my fists, my heart racing wildly. I'm _very_ manly dammit! I can be seme if I wanted to!

"S-S-SHUT UP! I could easily top Usagi-san if I wanted! He just _thinks_ he has control over me but—" I clamp my hand over my mouth, utterly mortified at what I just revealed to a complete stranger. Crap!

He doesn't look at me, only blushes again and it's kind…kind of cute? "So… Will you teach me?" I shakily sit down, gripping the couch. My face is on fire and I feel like I might die right here and now if this kid keeps talking.

"Uh…Taka…"

"Shinobu,"

"Shinobu-kun… I… I'm not really someone you should be talking to about this," He knits his eyebrows together, his face now almost resembles pouting and… god why is that so cute?!

"I… I just want to be a little more rounded in this… I don't like seeming like a complete idiot in bed with him. I really love him…" Gah… Why does he have to do this pathetic pouty thing… I… I just can't give him pointers! I'm still coming to terms with my own gayness…(not that I _am_ I just happen to have sex with a guy every night), let alone help with someone else's…

"…I don't think.." he looks up at me, his face look entirely sincere and pleading.

"Takahashi-kun," I grit my teeth. There's no way… No way no way no way! "Please…" He says softly and that's all and I know I'm already won over. Why am I such a pushover?! I really must be destined for a life of asspain huh…?

"…Guh… I don't know how much I could t-t-teach you… I'm not a pro at it or anything. I don't even do it willingly and…" But he's already smiling. Happiness is shining in those usually cold, grey eyes. The deal is done and I'm screwed. Crap… Nii-chan, what am I getting myself into?

XXxxxxXX

My first Junjou Romantica fanfic!! God… What have I done? XD I must make it a ritual of mine to screw with canon pairings? I dunno… I just love things that people hate or something… Bad… not good but I needed to post SOMETHING to the new category right? bwahahaha

Tell me how you like it and I'll continue! I still have to get to the sexy parts! D:


	2. Setting the deal

**Terror and Romance****  
TGyamiBakura  
Rating: T but rating will go up. sex later and swearing XD  
Warnings: Yaoi, fluff, non-cannon, MisakixShinobu. Oh how I love to be difficult..  
Disclaimer(forgot last time): I do not own Junjou Romantica…not even a smidgen…not even a **_**little**_** bit! I'm glad I don't because I'd screw it up so bad… Misaki would be screwing Usagi-chichi and Usagi-san would end up screwing Nowaki and…. Yah know we really don't need any of that…**

OMG! Thank you all soooooooooo much for the reviews! I totally wasn't expecting that big of a response to only three pages of crap XD I guess I'm a better writer than I thought? Maybe…? Er… Probably not. Lol you guys are probably just happy about any Junjou fanfics at all. Sorry for grammar and overall terribleness… I don't have a beta but if you want to beta, it'd be cool right? XD I hope this chapter is better… It's longer and hopefully not so sucky.

Um, I'll get to all your reviews before I update this! XD .

XXxxxXX

I arranged to meet with Shinobu-chan after school the next day. The next day which is today… I still can't believe he got me to agree with something like that. Why did it have to be _me_ anyways? Surely if he can tell that I…have… er…

…Some experience with men…

Then he can tell that _other_s have it too! Ugh! Why do I even have such experience anyways?!

I can't possibly be the only one that is so obviously wearing a neon sign on his forehead that says: "I'M VERY WELL FUCKED", right? Is it really that obvious and it's just my brother who is that oblivious to it?

What can I do to make myself seem straighter…? I….No! What am I doing that's making me seem _gay_?! Surely I haven't been doing anything different since I met Usagi-san… I've never been hit on by guys before… I've never been hit on by anyone actually…

Usagi-san just mercilessly rapes me on a daily basis!

He didn't even decently hit on me to make me feel better about myself! The first time he touched me he just made me feel like an idiot! What an insensitive jerk!

Well now I'm walking out the school in a horrible mood and I barely even notice Shinobu-chan standing by the gate. He's wearing his high school jumper again (why does he always wear that thing… isn't he done with school now?) and he's looking like he's avoiding being seen. I wonder why… Not that it's my business.

"Hey," I say when I reach him, causing him to nearly jump out of his skin. He glares at me and then grabs my hand, pulling me away at top speed. Wh…Is he in track or something?! Jeez…! "H-Hey! Where are we 

going?" I say when we reach the crosswalk. I grab my knees and huff a bit. I'm not used to running like that. Oh god… am I getting old too?! Old and gay… Is this really the life I'm doomed to suffer? Oh my god. I can already feel my mid-life crisis coming on and I'm only at the blossoming age of nineteen!

"We're going to my parent's place. Nobody is home until eight anyways," I nod, blushing a bit when I think about _why_ I'm going to his house in the first place. He wants me to… To give him pointers or something…? Oh great… I didn't even think about what I was going to teach him last night…

…I couldn't really think about anything because Usagi-san was too busy molest—

-ER Sp-spending time with me… yeah… that… ahahaha.

"Ah… Shinobu-chan" I say nervously as we take our seats on the bus. He looks at me as if daring me to say anything and I almost revoke the question on my lips. Why must he always look so scary? "…Wh-What is it again that you wanted me to teach you?"

"How to please my partner sexually, as the submissive one," I twitch…

E-exactly _how_ did he get me to agree to this again?!

"…R-Right…" I laugh nervously. This is… This is all about sex. My _least_ favorite subject! I _never_ participate actively when…._doing_ things with Usagi-san. I…I usually just protest and whine about it the whole time! I-I don't exactly _hate_ sex with Usagi-san… I just… I can't bring myself to show him that I like it.

It makes me kind of happy though, that there's someone who looks up to me, respects my knowledge (what knowledge there is… ugh…) … Even though the circumstances of this admiration are a bit odd…

When we reach our destination, we need to walk a bit before actually reaching Shinobu's house. He's silent the whole way, but I know he's thinking very deeply. Whenever he's thinking he looks at his feet. I wonder how many times he actually bumps into things… Or people. Haha… I can so picture him bump into people and then blushing cutely as he apologizes.

…C-Cutely? Since when do boys do anything _cute_?! Oh god… Misaki you have to stop this before you're completely plunged into this scary world of homosexuality! It's not good! Not at all!

xx

When we get there it's what I kind of expected. His home is very expensive looking. It's designed like Usagi-san's, just a bit on the homier side. Shinobu-chan has that resident scowl stuck on his face. Now why does such an attractive kid have to look like that all the time?

He leads me through the house, showing me around…sort of. It's more like a series of opening and slamming doors and forcing the knowledge of the rooms into my head whether I want it or not. I guess he feels pretty obligated to be a good host.

After a few more door slams, I'm practically shoved into a room that I'm assuming is his bedroom and am told to wait there and not touch anything while he gets tea. I scowl. What am I, four? I'm not gonna just touch things because I have nothing better to--

-Ehhe… I put down the very expensive looking painting. Wh-Where did that come from I wonder? Ahahaha…

His room is very typical for that of a sixteen year old. There's a desk, his bed, a small TV in the corner and a bookshelf. It's kind of nostalgi—

Guh! I don't need to use that word yet! I'm still only a freshman in college! I'm not old dammit!

After a moment, I decide to forget about my youth issues sit on the bed and I immediately hope he doesn't get angry about it… I don't know how to act around this kid. I'm always hoping I don't say or do something wrong… Maybe somebody sitting on his bed could be a thousand-year bad omen for him for all I know…

After a while, Shinobu returns with the promised tea and sets it on his bookshelf, handing me a cup. I thank him, glad he hasn't shown any hostility at my choice of seating. After taking a drink, I notice that he's staring at me, his tea untouched. I can feel my face heat up at the scrutiny. This kid really has a staring problem.

"Sh-Shinobu-cha—"

"Let's just cut to the chase," Shinobu crosses the room and sits at the side of the bed, leaning back. "I want you to teach me what it is you do to please your lover," I twitch, smiling nervously. That's kinda…

"I-I told you before… I'm not very experienced. I don't really actively do _anything…_when…when I," I feel my face burn. Talking about this with someone else…a _male_ at that. It's so embarrassing.

Shinobu sighs and crosses his arms. He's silent for a moment before he says slowly, "Then… We'll just learn together…"

I pause. My tea shakes a little bit. "T-Together…? What do you mean?" He shifts on the bed to face me.

"We're the same. I'm submissive, you're submissive. I'm inexperienced and you're inexperienced," His face softens a bit and he looks away. "Don't you want to be satisfying to your partner?" I think… Do I? I never really thought about doing sexual things with Usagi-san willingly. I… I don't want to because wouldn't that be admitting defeat? I'm not ready to be admittedly gay!

"…Shinobu-chan,"

"When you do it, doesn't the sight of his face contorted in pleasure just excite you to no end? Don't you want to be the direct cause of that expression just once because of something you're willingly doing?" 

Usagi-san's face…contorted in pleasure just because of something I'm doing to him… I… Would that really be satisfying? I unconsciously bite my lip at the thought. Would it be so bad… just to give in? To induce the bliss unto him that Usagi-san is constantly giving me… I look at him and his eyes are shining even though he's scowling. He's serious about this. I feel my face heat up.

"To do those kind of things to Usagi-san… I… I don't know if I could. I can't even tell him…"

"Tell him…?" Tell him that I love him… If I said that, what would Shinobu-chan think of me?

"I can never fully say that… That I l-l-lo," Shinobu smiles.

"Takahashi-kun, you don't need to rush it. I can tell you really do like him. Perhaps, if we practice now, it will be that much better when you're ready to admit it to him fully. Right?" I hesitantly nod. I can see how that would be helpful. I do like him… maybe even _l-love_ him. Maybe I can't say and do those type of things to Usagi-san because I'm so inexperienced.

"So do you really want to do this?" He says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Y-Yes,"

"Then we should start by learning about each other. What's your lover like?" I bite my lip. Oh.. Just wonderful! I've never even _thought_ about talking about my love life with another person…

My _love_ life…? More like my forced love life!

"I… He… Usagi-san is…"

"Usagi… Liiiike…" He takes his index fingers and wriggles them above his head akin to a rabbit. It looks completely ridiculous with that scowl on his face and I choke back a giggle.

"S-Sorry… His name is Usami but people say Usagi…"

"Usami… Like the writer Usami Akihiko? You're dating hi—" I clamp my hand over Shinobu's mouth and laugh nervously.

"Hah…Ahaha! Of course I'm not dating the writer! N-No this is a different person… Silly kids… Dreaming up weird things," Shinobu narrows his eyes and pulls my hand away.

"Whatever, you never answered my question," I didn't…? I could have sworn I did!

"…Ah… Well," I look at my knees. I guess it wouldn't hurt telling Shinobu right? It's not like he has any connection to him, or any of my friends for that matter. I should probably not mention all the bad things about him… Best not dampen a young boy's hopes right? "Usagi-san is… He… he loves me...At least he says that all the time. I… I have a hard time expressing my feelings but he always seems to understand. 

He's kind of forceful…lazy…mean and a jerk—" Why am I with him again?! "… But he's always looking out for me…"

I'm interrupted by the sight of Shinobu gagging in the corner. Why that little brat…!! "Hey! I'm pouring out my heart to you here!" He returns to the bed, his scowl still firmly in place.

"Like I want to hear a cliché load of crap like that," I grit my teeth and clench my fists.

"Fine, you want the truth?! When we first met he was hanging all over my brother, who is completely oblivious to the fact that Usagi-san is gay. Then he RAPED me…(even though it wasn't so bad) Then the jerk got over my brother after he got married and decided to pursue _me_ instead! I was forced to live with the guy against my will and…and," Shinobu looks at me expectantly. I bite my lip. I can't say it! I won't say it! "And… I…I really can't see myself living without him…" Damn it I said it! Then Shinobu smiles. I sip my tea, maybe that wasn't so bad…

"My lover is 17 years older than me—" I spit out my tea.

"—EXCUSE ME?!" I look at Shinobu horrified. He's only…what…he's s only 18?! The guy he's going out with is is… one…two…Thirty-five?!

"I know… he's a bit older than normal but—" I set my tea down on his night stand, looking at him horrified.

"A bit?! Try like…he could be your dad?!" Shinobu frowns and looks at me like "Are you done yet?". I bite my lip. "Shinobu-chan… that's a bit," He looks at me sternly, cutting off any thought I was going to put together.

"Don't judge me," He glares harder at the floor, gripping his tea tightly. "I know, it's not the most conventional of relationships… It's not like Miyagi doesn't know that. He didn't want it either… Takahashi-kun, we're in love. It's not just a weird, sick fascination we have. I fell in love with him and he has to take responsibility for it," I twitch. What kind of kid _is_ this?!

"S-So you're forcing this guy into a relationship with you… It's not like you're pregnant, Shinobu-chan," He knits his eyebrows together, still looking at his knees.

"Aren't _you _being forced into a relationship…?"

"I—" The younger boy throws the teacup to the floor, standing up in front of me. His hands twist tightly at the collar of my shirt.

"Can you honestly say that you're not in love with the guy that forced you?" My eyes widen and I feel my heart start to thump. His grey eyes looking up at me are filled with fiery passion. A fire that burns me. "Miyagi has fallen in love with me. He didn't want to, but it happened. It was never about sex… But now that it's a part of us, I want to show him I can be mature about it. I _don't _want to be something he 

thinks he has to accommodate to anymore!" His grip is tightening and I can see it in his eyes. That passion, that fire… Something about this kid tells me that it's something serious he has for this guy.

I smile and gently remove his hand from my shirt. He really is a cute kid… Maybe a bit extreme… but cute nevertheless

"I believe you, Shinobu," He momentarily looks like he's about to bite my head off again but then he freezes in realization. His facial features soften and he looks at me astonished. "As long as you're not being forced into anything you aren't ready for, I can support you on this," He bites his lip and then moves away, blushing a bit.

It's a moment before he speaks again. His voice is cautious and considerably more cute than before."C-Can I call you Misaki?"He asks. I grin. This must be his way of saying he wants to be friends.

"Of course you can,"

Xx

Well… Instead of _teaching_… or whatever, I spend the afternoon playing video games with Shinobu. I'm totally kicking his ass at Operation Hayaku 4 and he's extremely mad about it. Apparently he's been the champion at this game for as long as he can remember and I totally blew his high score away.

After another hour Shinobu has had enough and turns off the game (…that is, if you want to call throwing the whole game console at the wall and smashing it to pieces 'turning it off', then yeah he succeeded). He stands and crosses his arms and right when I'm about to say something he puts his foot to my forehead and glares.

"Enough procrastinating! It's time to learn,"…Sc-Scary!

"Uhh… O-Okay," I scramble to my feet. "S-So what are we…"

"Luckily for you I already consulted this book," He digs through his desk draw and pulls a book holding it up in front of me. 'A woman's guide to pleasing her lover in be—' Wait a second!

"Shinobu… I think you got it wrong, that book is for women…er you know…" I cup my hands below my chest making a very obvious gesture. Perhaps he doesn't know the difference between men and women… It would explain a lot of things. He crosses his arms, the book still in his hand.

"We play the woman's role during sex. I couldn't find a book about gay sex that teaches submissive people to please their partners so I had to improvise…" I grimace at the notion that I play the "women's role". I was a man the last time I checked!

"So…" Shinobu opens the book and skims down the page with his finger. "The first thing it talks about is sexually arousing your partner. It says in here; 'The way you let your lover know that you want to 'play' 

is very important. A good start is to seduce him and show him that you want his attention," I suppress a disdainful snort. Like I would _ever_ seduce Usagi-san. If I even tried he'd have me thoroughly fucked before I even touched him. I shiver at the thought. Oh god… This thought is _not_ arousing! Ugh! Pay attention to Shinobu!

"S-so you want to practice that?" I ask hesitantly.

"It sounds good. D-Do you want to try first?" …. _Try?_ We're… g-going to be simulating this? Did I agree to that?!

"Uhm… A-Are you sure about this, Shinobu-chan?" He narrows his eyes.

"I wouldn't go through this trouble if I wasn't sure," He proceeds to pull off his sweater and then unbuttons his shirt. His skin is paler than I thought and he has bright pink nip— "So, I assume to seduce someone, physical appearance is key," He runs his fingers through his hair, mussing it slightly and then pinches his cheeks giving them a slight red tinge. By the time he's done he looks… he looks...

D-Does _edible_ do it justice?!

"Misaki-kun…" The golden-haired boy moves toward me, kneeling on the bed. He moves one of his legs over so that he's now straddling my lap. I can feel my heart pounding because God…he's _so_ close! His sweet scent is infiltrating my nostrils and I find it hard to breathe. He runs his hands up and down my chest, then changing it to a small, circular motion. He looks at me, the redness on his cheeks spreading. "I-Is this good?" His voice is tentative and unsure. It feels weird… I've never done this kind of thing before. I-I have to look cool for Shinobu-kun though!

"I-I think so…" He nods and then grips my shoulders, nuzzling slightly into my neck. His soft breath and the feel of his lips there sends shivers through my body..

"Do you think something like this would arouse your Usagi-san?" I smirk.

"I think Usagi-san would already be screwing me senseless if I ever tried anything like this to him," He chuckles and I realize that I totally said that completely naturally… Like it was something normal. Wh-Why is it so easy to talk to Shinobu about these kinds of things? Wh-_While_ he's doing these kind of things!

"I-I think I need to be able to do a bit more than cuddle to get Miyagi turned on though… So… is it okay?"

"Uh…y-yeah," I blush, realizing that Usagi is so extremely easily turned on. He'll jump me even if he just sees me blink cutely (In his opinion that is!)…

I'm distracted when I feel Shinobu's body grow closer, our chests pressing together now. He arches his upper back a little into me and I gasp, feeling his groin come into contact with mine. Th-This is getting a bit…a bit… Er… Shinobu seems a bit more skilled at this than he says he is!

Shinobu stops and looks at me, blinking. He looks a bit worried. "W-Was that bad…?" I blink and then shake my head, patting his shoulder in, what I hope, is a comforting gesture. That was _not_ bad in the least. In fact, it was far too good and I think my body agrees. Damn you hormones!

"It…It was good," He smiles, melting my insides. Why is this boy so cute?! Oh god… am I really…? Could I seriously swing for the other team? He nuzzles a bit and then kisses my neck, sending chills down my spine.

"I want you…" he says lowly by my ear. He must still be acting but…does he have to say _that_ of all things? I sigh and I think my hands have a mind of their own because they snake their way up behind him. Wh… What am I doing?! It… It's just a simulation! I'm not really turned on by this… I can't be, because if I was that would mean that I was attracted to Shinobu-chan. Shinobu-chan is a guy, so that would mean I really am ga—

I stop and forcibly put my hands to my side. No way in hell! Besides… Even if I _was_ attracted to Shinobu… I couldn't do anything about it because… Well because I think I'm kind of going out with Usagi-san… And I mean… Like.. . Isn't that c-cheating or something? Shinobu-chan is only treating this as a simulation so it would be kind of betraying his trust…. even if it was kinda _his_ fault for trusting a stranger anyways and…

… THAT'S TOTALLY NOT THE POINT!

The point is NO! NO NO NO and NO! Gh! _why_ is he licking my neck!? Uh…uhn… uh…Wh-Why is he _sucking_ on my neck…? Why does it feel so….._heavenly_?

"S-Shinobu—" I say, a bit more breathlessly than I anticipated. Shinobu pulls away and the look on his face looks positively thrilled…and…_determined._

"I'm learning so much…" I twitch… I'm freaking out here and you're just _learning_?! He looks at me, smiling. "Misaki-kun. You try now,"

"H-Hahh?!"

"Come on!" He sits next to me and pulls me onto him by my shoulders. I resist and apparently that wasn't a good idea because we land in a more…er…_compromising_ position on the bed. This position involves me lying on top of Shinobu-chan and him… sprawled out under me, his hair mussed and cheeks red and…GH I think I'm drooling!

I silently muse to myself that Shinobu is an uke all the way… albeit a very forceful one…

"I-I don't think I can… I'm really not cut out for this sex business… I'm not good at either roles…" Oh it hurts to admit that… But I'm trying to think of what I would even do if I was with a _girl_. I can't really see myself wanting to get into her pants all the time… I can't see myself taking the initiative every time we do it… I can't even see myself _enjoying_ it with a girl…

…Oh that kills… really kills. I think I'm going to go die now!

"Misaki-kun…" I freeze when I feel his arms wrap around my neck. He pulls me down and our lips meet. It's only two seconds. Two seconds of tender, unadulterated sweetness but these two seconds have my world spinning out of control. Shinobu just…k-k-k-ki-!!

I pull away, staring at him in disbelief, but he's still smiling.

"Just do your best?" O…Oh it's it's just a friendly…kiss. Like that. I think he said that he had lived in Australia before… Maybe it's something normal? Normal to kiss…your _guy_ friends…

… Yet somehow I can't even see French people doing that!

I nod and sit up. I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do. I think this is becoming dangerous… But I feel like it's only me and I'm worried if that makes me a pervert… Doing things like this… It seems perverted in itself. No one can really blame me for being a bit nervous.

But… Now that I'm here, I'm kind of at a loss… What should I do?

"Shinobu-chan… I don't…"

"The book said that visual self-stimulation is usually sexy to your partner. Maybe try touching yourself a litt—"

"—Touch myself?!" He shakes his head, his face glowing red.

"N-Not down _there!_ Just everywhere else, you know?" I bite my lip and nod. My face is still burning but that doesn't seem too difficult…right?

I decide to take a leap and shrug off my over shirt. I can feel Shinobu's eyes on me which is embarrassing but I ignore it. I already agreed to do this and once I agree to something I can't back out! I… I think of what might be sexy and I find myself absently running my fingers along Shinobu's naked chest with my right hand, my other hand is busy snaking up the hem of my shirt. I lower my eyes to look at Shinobu's gorgeous face…

… he really is a looker.

I bite back a moan and… Even though I know it's wrong I can feel myself becoming a tiiiiny bit aroused. Shinobu is too cute…

I decide it's time to remove my shirt completely and I do so. After dropping it on the floor, My fingers experimentally run over my chest and nipples and it feels like every touch is like electricity running 

through my body. He's watching me oh-so-intently and I feel on fire. These butterflies in my stomach… I recognize them from times I was with Usagi-san…

…Only this time they're threatening to burst out…

My fingers stop at my nipples and I think back to the times when Usagi would touch me there. I give them an experimental tweak. Oh god… Now I remember why I liked this so much. I repeat the action, sending sparks down to my groin and my back arches involuntarily. My eyes close and I scrape my fingernails over the sensitive flesh, unsuccessfully suppressing a soft moan when I do.

Shinobu's pale chest is rising and falling faster now… I look at him quizzically. I hope I'm not making him nervous…

"A-Am I doing this bad?" I ask, uncertainly. I'm worried that I'm making a fool out of myself… But Shinobu isn't showing that sort of teasing amusement on his face. He shakes his head.

"M-Misaki-kun… You're really attractive…" I bite my lip feeling my cheeks heat up. He's so…SO cute!

"I-I'm no—"

"I-I think you'll have no problem getting your lover turned on…" He looks behind me and I'm confused when I realize he wants me to look too.

Oh…

… He's… Yeah it's pretty obvious…

He's completely turned on.

My face bursts into flames and omg! Omg Omg Omg! Shinobu is hard and is..is it because of me? Well what… What am I supposed to do?! This is extremely awkward!

"S-Shinobu-chan I…this is…" He nods.

"Misaki-kun, I know this is just explorative research (is that what he calls it!?)… but… I…I can't help it if you're sexy to me. You weren't attractive at all when I first saw you…" I twitch, narrowing my eyes. Well thanks a _lot_! "It's just…" He grips his head. "I feel so… You're…" I hold up my hand and look away.

This is too dangerous… We're straying into uncharted waters and… it's gotta stop!

"It… It's okay Shinobu I… This probably wasn't the best idea. As your senpai I should have been more responsible. Perhaps we should just stop this…"

He looks at me. It's a moment before he says anything but then he sits up, looking away. "I think… it's not bad. I mean, We're both guys, both homosexual…" I twitch at the word. "… It's only a natural reaction…right?"

"But still… It's… I mean…" I look away nervously and he reaches up and presses another kiss to my lips. I resist the urge to pull away because I know it's just a friendly gesture but sheesh! I'm not used to allowing kisses like this! I'm always pulling away whenever Usagi-san tries it! It's become an acquired habit!

"Misaki-kun. Think of it this way. If what we're doing can cause each other to become sexually aroused like this, then isn't that what we're hoping to achieve for our real partners? The simulation wouldn't get very far if we just stopped it here. We might even have to go further as well,"

"_F-Further_?!" He nods. I shake my head furiously. "Shinobu-chan, I really don't think it's a good idea. What would your lover say? I can't even think about what Usagi-san woul—" He grabs my arm, a bit painfully.

"Then we won't tell them! We know we're not cheating, but it would definitely look that way to them, but it's not! All of this is for bettering our relationships with them, right?! We shouldn't have any guilty feelings about it!" My eyes widen. C-Could he be right? If I'm doing this _for_ Usagi-san… Then shouldn't I actually feel _good_ about this kind of thing? If I can make Shinobu sexually aroused, then doesn't that mean that I'm making progress?

"I… I still don't know," Shinobu smiles and gently rubs my shoulder. God… why does he look so angelic when he smiles, when he looks so _satanic_ when he glares? I shiver at the thought. Yep, I _really _don'tlike those glares…

"It'll be fine. I promise. So is it a deal?" I take a moment. This is the last time I'll be allowed to think about this. I'm throwing away my insecurities… No, I'm giving them to this boy. I'm letting him in to see my secrets, my suppressed feelings. I'm letting him see…_me._

Why is it that opening up and learning to accept all this is much more easy with this near-stranger than it is with Usagi-san? Is it because Shinobu is my own age…? That Shinobu's willing to let me go at my own pace? Is it that, Shinobu can relate…?

I nod, covering his delicate hand on my shoulder with my own."Okay," My voice shows no trace of hesitation, I realize. I think I can really do this with him. I don't really know the definition of _cheating_ but I think it will be fine if it's for this purpose. Nobody would see it that way, but I'm doing this because I want to make Usagi-san happy.

I want to be someone he doesn't have to force to have sex with anymore.

XXxxxXX

Ahh… The end of another sucky chapter. Longer, but still sucky. I don't really know if my stories are good or not… God I need a beta. I can't believe I'm actually updating…

Anyways, this chapter was setting the deal, next chapter is about carrying it out lol. Misaki drifts away from Usagi-san and gets closer to Shinobu… I think Miyagi will make an appearance in the next chapter (not sure).

I'm warning you extreme canon death o.o;;; So leave now if you don't want to see it…

Review for me, my pretties, God know's it's the only thing that keeps me writing XD… (always wanted to use "my pretties" in a sentence, sorry o.o;;)


	3. I kissed a boy and I liked it

**Terror and Romance****  
TGyamiBakura  
Rating: M for sex later and swearing XD  
Warnings: Yaoi, fluff, non-cannon, MisakixShinobu, ShinobuxMisaki. Misanobu? Shisaki? Um… er… .;;  
Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica…. I PROMISE! DON'T SUE ME!! FOR THE LOVE OF CHINKOS! T.T**

Ah… Another chapter… Can you fricken believe it?! I never update! EVER! What is going on with me?! All I can say is… Thank you guys SO much for the reviews and hits and favs… I feel like I could die happy now… But I know I can't cause you'd all kill me lol. I must say… This chapter would suck major balls snicker if it weren't for my wonderful, patient, understanding beta Questix… I owe it to her for all the mental distress I put her through... What have I been doing all these chapters without her?!

Anyways… To the story!

**xx**

Shinobu and I decided that our lessons could be continued some other time. It wouldn't be tomorrow. No, we both agreed that if we were to start coming home late every day, then it would look suspicious. We're keeping this a secret so that nobody gets the wrong idea. Technically it's cheating… but to us, it's something different. Still… if they found out, it would look wrong no matter what we told them.

We're the only ones who understand what we have. Everyone else would get the wrong idea.

So when I got home, I acted as if nothing was different. I have to make sure Usagi-san knows that Shinobu-chan really is just a friend. I won't hang out with him more than anybody would consider 'abnormal'. We'll act just like regular friends. The two of us decided that we should begin to meet randomly, a few times a week to do… _that_.

Tonight, Usagi-san and I are watching a movie with popcorn. We're on opposite ends of the couch because Usagi-san is feeling particularly cuddly today. I still feel reluctant to get too close to him. As much as I accept that we are in a relationship, I still have my straight person pride! He tries to cuddle but I throw popcorn at him every time he does. I won't let him win _that_ easily!

After the show, Usagi-san turns off the TV and attacks me. It's too sudden and I can't dodge it so now I'm smooshed up against his chest, trying to breathe with him lying practically on top of me.

"St-Stupid Usagi! Let me go dammit!" He chuckles, releasing his grip, (although I don't think he did it to help me, jerk!) and looks at me, running his long fingers through my hair.

"So who is your new friend?" He asks, snuggling into my neck. Gh … Why is he so touchy feely today?!

"His name is Shinobu. I met him on the bus," The only response I get is a "hn" before he starts licking and kissing my neck, his hand's trailing to obvious places and I can feel that customary feeling of panic 

rising in me. "St-stop it you pervert! I-If you just want to have sex, don't cover it up by showing mock-interest in my social life!" He stops and gently presses a soft kiss to my lips.

"Wrong; just because I'm kissing and touching you _doesn't_ mean I want to have sex." I snort disbelievingly.

"Yeah that's why every time you do we end up doing just that …"

Usagi smirks, resting his chin on my chest and looking up at me with his deep, indigo eyes. "Tell me about him. I'm truly interested," I look at him, trying not to look nervous. There's something about his behavior that unnerves me. His sudden interest in Shinobu is odd. It reminds me of when I first started hanging out with Sumi-senpai. Don't tell me he suspects anything …! I haven't acted any different about Shinobu than I would with any other person…

"He likes video games and uh… he… likes to cook, even though he's not very skill—"

"—Does he have a boyfriend?" The question is sudden and unexpected, making me blink wildly. Wh-Where did that come from?!

"H-Huh?!" N-No way! How could he infer that just by hearing his name and his adoration for video games? "Wh-What are you t-t-tal—"

"Judging by the speed of your stuttering and lack of denial, I'm guessing he does. No need to be nervous about it, Misaki. I'm not angry that you have gay friends," He sits up and lights a cigarette. He doesn't look angry or anything … Hahaha … And here I was thinking he'd be angry about that … Maybe he's more understanding than I thought … "It's only natural that a gay man has gay friends." … Okay maybe not!

"I'M NOT—!" He takes a drag from the cigarette and pats me on the head.

"Misaki, someday you'll understand. Having a _guy_ for a lover pretty much makes you gay," I twitch.

"And whose fault is that?! I wasn't gay before I met you, you jerk!" Usagi-san smothers his just-lit cigarette into the ashtray on the coffee table and pushes me down again, hovering over me. His face gets closer until it's mere inches away from mine. His hot gaze burns into me. I suddenly feel self-conscious. He always stares at me like this. "Usagi-san …" I try to look away, unable to look him in the eyes.

Soft lips come in contact with mine and after a moment his tongue joins the conquest. It's soft, gentle and even though I'm not participating, I don't feel adverse to it. He sucks on my tongue softly and a moan resounds in my throat. I already know that we're going to have sex, because I'm in this weird non-protesting mood. Ah hell…even if I _were_ in a protesting mood we'd end up have sex. Usagi-san is my own personal rapist, after all.

I feel his hand snake its way up my shirt and find my nipple. After a moment of slight caressing with the pads of his fingers, he leans down and licks it slowly before sucking on it. Oh that heavenly but traitorous technique that has me arching my back off the couch and making embarrassing, lewd sounds. How I despise this trick. Why are my nipples so sensitive anyways? I'm a guy… is that even normal?! I wonder what he'd say if he saw me touching them myself like I did earlier today… Would it turn him on?

Well of course it would… But could I really do something like that? Could I ever want sex from him so badly that I'd actually be the one to initiate it? Have I ever even actively _wanted_ sex from Usagi-san? Would I even tell him if I did …?

I jump out of my thoughts when I notice that my shirt has disappeared. Wow, he moves fast. His mouth is now trailing hot kisses down my chest and stomach, licking and nipping every now and then. I bite my lip to stop sounds from escaping. He doesn't need to know I'm enjoying this. After a moment, he looks up at me and stops his ministrations.

"Misaki… Is something wrong?" Maybe I shouldn't re-evaluate my relationship with Usagi-san while we're in the middle of the topic in question… I don't say anything, not exactly sure what to tell him. I don't really want him to stop, but I don't want him to _think_ I don't want him to stop. D-Does that make sense?

Or…

Could I just… Could I just let it go? My pride? My resolve to be divergent to any sexual experience I have with Usagi-san; good or bad? I could just let him know that what he's doing to me is anything but unpleasant and perhaps I could be happy about having sex with him for a change … That actually …

"N-No…" I say quietly. Shutting my eyes and looking away. My cheeks burn and I wonder if he understands what I mean by that. I _really_ don't want to have to elaborate.

After a moment or two, nothing happens and I hesitantly look at him. His mouth is hanging open and his eyes are wide with shock. I guess he understood … "Wh-What?!" I snap defensively. I can feel my old hostility seeping back into me. Why does he have to look so surprised!? We're _lovers_ for God's sake!

"I just… You're okay with this?" He experimentally presses his fingers on the obvious hard-on in my pants, slowly stroking it. Heat floods into my cheeks. If I wasn't so _uncomfortable_ right now I might have a different opinion.

"Just ... g-get on with it already…" I stammer, turning into a puddle of mush by just the feeling of his finger on my most sensitive area. He smiles and continues without asking anymore questions (thank _God_). It wasn't…. _so_ bad… letting him know that I _kind of_ don't mind it. The world didn't end. I'm still the nineteen year old Takahashi Misaki I was when I woke up today. Is it … I wonder …

… Am I doing this because of what I started with Shinobu-chan?

Could it be that … not resisting … actually feels pretty good?

And … Exactly _where_ did Usagi-san learn to use his tongue like that?

xx

"Shinobu-chaaaaannn!" I whine as I'm dragged down the sidewalk. Today is the second installment of one of _those_ days. Ahhh the last few days have been normal. We hung out at the arcade and talked on the phone a bit from time to time. Nothing normal friends wouldn't do. But Shinobu decided that we need to continue our 'lessons' so we chose to do so today. He says we can't go to his parents' house since his mother is having some sort of dinner party. I ask where we're going if not to his own house and his answer takes me by surprise.

"I don't even live there anyways. I live with my boyfriend. We're going to his apartment," I blink.

"You never mentioned that,"

"I've never said that I _live _at my parents' house, have I?" I glare. Well how the heck was I supposed to know?! Then I think. Shouldn't… Isn't going to the boyfriend's house… a _bad_ idea? The outcome of being caught by him is considerably more horrifying than if we were caught by parents, to tell the truth. For one thing, Shinobu is 18 and parents really don't have a say in who he dates anymore, but the boyfriend… well let's just say it would ruin pretty much _everything_ we're doing this for.

"Wh-Why are we going _there_?"

"Because he's working right now. He works at your college you know. He's a professor in literature,"

"Ah…" I say, not really able to argue. I have a day off today, but surely professors work full time. Now that it's explained, it does make a bit more sense to do this sort of thing in an unoccupied home rather than one full of highly influential, judgmental adults. Shinobu-chan is smart.

I still am reluctant on this whole deal, but I've already accepted, so there's really no turning back now. When we get there, we're both surprised to find that the apartment isn't empty. Upon entering we freeze to see that a man with short, choppy black hair is digging through the couch cushions. His shoes are still on, so perhaps he's not staying?

Shinobu's mouth is hanging open and he looks a bit angry.

"Miyagi," The boy says. The man who he had addressed looks up, and after glancing at us both, he smiles widely.

His voice is high and overly-friendly in the most convincing way. It _almost_ unnerves me. "Aaah! Shinobu-chin, I thought you were going out today? You surprised me. Who's your friend?" Shinobu looks down, his guard dropping a bit. This must be his boyfriend.

"Yes, well, the arcade was packed, so we decided just to come back here. You're being irresponsible and skipping work again, I see." Shinobu places his hand on his hip and stands in a reprimanding way. The man called 'Miyagi' stares blankly and then his grin goes wider, his hands rising defensively.

"Oh, ah, no, you've got it all wrong, Shinobu-chin. I just forgot the book I needed today and I was coming back to find it. I'm actually telling the truth this time. Can you believe it?" Shinobu promptly 'hmphs' like he doesn't believe a word and walks past him to what I can only assume is the kitchen area.

"Misaki, I'm going to make some tea. You can sit if you want. Try not to feel intimidated by Miyagi. He's just a big idiot," I laugh nervously and decide to stand. I don't want to interrupt Miyagi-san's searching process, he seems engrossed. Must be an important book. It's probably difficult to be such a hard-working professor.

"Aha! Kiyuku-chan I can't believe I found you at last! I knew the evil couch had yo—" What he's holding seems to be some sort of doll girl with cat ears and a tail… Er …

He stops mid-sentence and looks up at me, as if seeing me for the first time and blushes hiding 'Kiyuku-chan' behind his back. Perhaps I misjudged him a bit…

"Ahaha!" He nervously scratches the back of his head with the hand holding the action figure. His voice is considerably louder when he speaks. "Looks like I can't find the book here after all," He quickly shoves the doll in his jacket pocket and looks at me, his voice quiet. "You know, they say a man's silence is admirable in this day and age. I'm sure you're very admirable...er…"

"Misaki," I say, so he doesn't have to struggle to try and remember my name.

"Misaki-chan!" He puts his hands on his hips and chuckles heartily. "There are some things that need to be said and then there're things that don't need to be said," He says while coming over to pat me on the back, still chuckling. This guy…

I roll my eyes. Of course he's just some perverted otaku. "I won't tell Shinobu that you were really looking for an action figure rather than a book for work," He pauses and then sighs in relief, tears practically sparkling in his eyes as he grips my shoulders with his hands.

"Ahhh! You're a saint, Misaki-kun! Shinobu-chin really does have good tastes in friends after all," He clasps his hands together and positively _beams_ at nothing in particular.

"Will you stop scaring my friend," We pause and look at Shinobu, who is carrying a tray with tea and cookies on it as he returns. "Go back to work, old man. Stop being so irresponsible," He sets it down and walks over to us, grabbing my hand and pulling me farther into the room when, suddenly, he's stopped.

Shinobu is pulled into a tight embrace. He visibly tenses for a moment but then relaxes into the strong arms. Miyagi kisses his forehead, making the light-haired boy blush.

"I'll see you after work, Shinobu," Miyagi says, his voice low and serious now. He pulls away and bids us farewell before leaving. So he _is_ the boyfriend. I smile, feeling only a little awkward. Only a little because it's not like they started to make out in front of me. I just… I've never really seen two men act like lovers in person. Well … aside from Usagi-san and myself… if you could actually call _that_ 'acting like lovers,' anyways.

It's kind of… disheartening, knowing that Usagi-san and I can't really do things like that in public or in front of other people. When your boyfriend is a famous writer, things like scandals exist. They exist because homosexuality is not accepted by the general public. When I pictured dating, I always pictured being able to hold hands with the one I loved, or using two straws in one drink. Silly things like that…

… Things that I can never do with Usagi-san…

Not that I really _want _to! No … I'm not the least bit disappointed that Usagi-san can't publicly molest me. Not in the slightest!

I just think it would be nice … To maybe be in love with someone and not have things like scandals and such looming over my head.

… Not to mention my _pride_. I can't really love freely with that in the way. But Usagi-san just makes me like that! I can't help it.

Seeing Miyagi-san leave with a smile on his face, I try to push aside the sudden feeling of guiltiness that washes over me. I'm not…_dating_ Shinobu, but I am doing things that would qualify as cheating… If we were ever caught, our relationships would never be the same. I don't even know what I would do if I was on the reverse end of this situation. Would I, hurt and betrayed, be able to understand the motive behind it all?

Perhaps I should just try not to think about it…

I drink the tea Shinobu made and it's very good. Shinobu-chan said that cooking and preparing food wasn't his strength, but if his tea is anything to go on, I don't think he's half as bad as he says he is.

"Ah, so, you and Miyagi-san seem very close," I say, trying to start conversation.

"I guess. We've been dating for a while now. It's only natural," He snorts. "And if he thinks I believe for a second he was here because of work, then he's more stupid than I thought," I smile nervously. I won't say anything, but it's amazing how well Shinobu can read him.

I set my tea down, sighing. It's kind of nice, hanging out with Shinobu like this. I haven't forgotten about what… what we're doing here, but _still_. I don't really mind it too much. I already noticed a change in my attitude with sex and Usagi. I don't resist it so much anymore. Doing so is tiring, and it's just a bad experience if it's like that. I don't hate sex, so what's the point of resisting something that feels good?

"So, Shinobu-chan, what's on the agenda for today?" I ask, a bit amazed at myself for being the one to bring it up. I could have simply waited, in hopes that maybe Shinobu would have forgotten… and just ignored what we originally intended to do altogether, but I decided that the sooner we get it over with, the better.

Shinobu leans back on the sofa, stretching his slender body as he does so. It's not hard to see why Miyagi has fallen for him; he's ambitious, hard-working, passionate- not to mention _attractive_. What wonderful qualities in a person. Although… Shinobu _is_ a bit rough around the edges. I guess once you're a brat, you're always a brat.

"I was thinking that perhaps we could practice kissing today," Ah… kissing. I've never really had the chance to wonder if I were a good kisser or not. Usagi-san is always crushing our lips together and tongue-raping me so much that I've never even had time to think about what's happening on _my_ end. I bet my tongue cowers in fear every time it meets Usagi-san's… Just terrible!

"Okay then,"

"You start," He says bluntly, making me jump.

"Wh-Why me?!"

"Cause knowing you, you probably have never even initiated a kiss before," I narrow my eyes. I have so! "And your parents don't count…" … Damn. Well so much for proving how un-pathetic I really am.

"Fine," I say, but my voice is shaking a bit. I turn Shinobu to me, and even though I'm trembling, I don't take my eyes off of him. I-I-I can do this! It's no problem. The angle we're at is a bit odd but… But …

Ouch… Okay, next time turn my head a bit to avoid nose-smashing!

"U-Um…S-sorry," He smirks, wrapping his arms around my neck and moving so that he straddles my waist. This position makes him slightly taller than me but it's definitely a better angle. I suppose… it looks kind of suggestive this way but, oh well.

"Is this better?" He asks softly, leaning in closer so that our lips are only centimeters apart. At this proximity, I discover many things that I couldn't before. Shinobu's got this subtle scent of strawberries that is simply tantalizing and, placing my hands on his waist, I feel how small Shinobu really is, and even though he's small, he doesn't feel delicate at all. It's strange how all of these factors are slightly arousing to me.

"Y-Yeah…" I say; my voice surprisingly huskier than normal. His warm breath is tickling my lips and I just… I suddenly need to feel them against my own. So, hesitantly, I press my lips to his. His mouth is open slightly so I kind of, take his bottom lip in-between mine and… I'm still not very sure what to do. Oh I probably look really stupid right now! What's 'okay'… and what's 'not okay?' I have no idea what I should do!

As if reading my mind, Shinobu chuckles a bit and pulls back. Oh, surely I've screwed up… this is definitely harder than I thought. How does Usagi-san make it look so effortless?!

"Misaki, relax. Just do what you feel like. This is just a matter of discovering things, okay? I'm not going to scold you for anything you do," I sigh. His voice is surprisingly sweet right now and it calms me a bit. So just… just do what I feel like? I think… I think even _I_ can manage _that_. His eyes are staring into my own, so intensely. It's strange how almost all of my nervousness is obliterated by his reassuring gaze and gentle words.

I nod and pick up where I left off; capturing his bottom lip between both of mine and sucking, gently. After a moment, I let go, placing a soft peck on his lips, but I don't want to lose contact, so I linger there a moment. A tingle goes through my body when I feel and hear Shinobu sigh shakily against my lips. Then… does this mean he's nervous, too? This… this makes me feel a bit bolder. I should… probably show him that it feels good. I don't want Shinobu-chan to be nervous with me.

I tighten my grip on his waist and pull him closer, pressing my lips firmer against his, connecting slightly in soft, gentle kisses. Both of our breathing has become more labored and my face is growing warmer. I decide that this isn't so bad. I think that if Usagi-san feels anything like this when he kisses me, then I can understand why he likes doing it so much.

Shinobu moves and, with this new position, the position of our mouths changes and oh… I think I like this new element in our practice. I feel as though… I want to feel more of Shinobu-chan and I take this opportunity to do what I hope is deepening the kiss.

When we both feel a bit light headed we stop and breathe a bit. Shinobu chuckles and rests his forehead against mine, his slate eyes looking into my green ones. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" I smile.

"It wasn't,"

"Mm," He kisses me and I return it, kissing him back. I find myself unconsciously dominating slightly, then, after a short while, he pulls away. "I think we should try it with tongue now …" My cheeks take on a whole new shade of red. I guess … yeah that's part of kissing. I nod and hesitantly take his lips with mine again, this time, a bit harder. He leans in and wraps his arms tighter around my neck. I guess… I have no choice.

I gently lick Shinobu's lips with my tongue and he opens them, allowing me to slip inside. Now… I've never willingly been inside a mouth before so I'm not entirely sure of what to do. The only thing I can think of is to lick at _his_ tongue and hope for the best. Apparently I did something right because Shinobu makes a soft mewling sound sending heat throughout my whole body, as if someone turned on a switch and brought me to life. Does … Shinobu-chan like me kissing him? Could I actually be doing something right? Now, the other boy is kissing me back, his tongue feverishly trying to meet mine. After a gentle tongue battle we pull away only to breathe and then start back up again.

I'm not sure how long we kiss, but when we pull away we're both gasping for breath. Apparently breathing through your nose isn't quite enough when you kiss for so long. I'm hot… and as much as I hate to admit it, kind of, sort of aroused. Who knew kissing could feel so good? It's never felt this way with Usagi-san …

I'm sure that… No, I _know_ that if I was just a bit more open about it, it would be different. It's my fault my experiences with Usagi-san aren't as good as they could be.

Even though I'm inexperienced and usually adverse to physical contact… The tingling on my lips and the fact that I can't tear my eyes away from Shinobu right now are proof enough that I'm not asexual. Right now… I feel as though physical intimacy can be a very exciting… I think it may be something that I could come to eagerly consent to wanting to do with my partner.

I hope, to any god that exists, that I can somehow come to feel this way with Usagi-san on a regular basis.

xx

The weekend is here and it feels amazing. I don't have to work and I don't have school. Shinobu-chan asked for me to go shopping with him, seeing as the pants he wears are rising to his ankles. He's getting near the point where he will stop growing. It makes me feel good that I'm still taller than him. By like, four centimeters, but I'm still taller! That counts for something, right?

We walk into the department store. I'm a bit overwhelmed at the amount of clothes they have here. It's a place I've never been before, but the price tags don't make me cringe, so perhaps I can get a few things as well. Believe it or not, Shinobu-chan isn't the only one suffering from a growth spurt!

I'm looking around while Shinobu is trying on some pants. The clothes they carry here are a different style than what I'm used to, but I find that I like it. A red shirt with a white design catches my eye. It draws me to it like some inhuman force and I must take it off the shelf and look more closely. I am, by no means, obsessed with fashion (I'm not _that_ gay yet!), but I think it would look good with a pair of pants that I already have.

I jump when I feel a delicate hand clasp my shoulder. I turn and see Shinobu looking down at my choice.

"Nice," He says shortly.

"Do you think so?" He nods, blushing slightly.

"I think it would look good on you," My eyebrows shoot up and I turn to look at him fully. Oh… those black pants look good on him.

_Really_ good.

I bite my lip. They hug his delicate hips perfectly and are loose fitting but tight enough to where you can see what an amazing figure he has. I chance it and look behind him and sure enough, they look amazing from _behind_ as well. Or could that just be because Shinobu's backside looks amazing in general… Uh! Continuing! The other half of the outfit fits perfectly with the chosen pants. He's wearing a white, turtle-neck sweater and a black vest. The clothes look as though they were made for him.

I notice, after shamelessly ogling him, that his face has adopted color and he looks embarrassed by my scrutiny. I smile.

"That outfit looks amazing on you. You should buy it," This isn't something normal guy friends would say to one another, but I've come to terms that I'm not really a _normal_ guy. I'm… as Shinobu has pointed out many times, attracted to the same sex. I can only really be… er… _open_ about it with Shinobu.

Shinobu's face has darkened in redness. "Thanks," he says, noncommittally. "I think you should try on that shirt… and," He momentarily ducks away, rummaging through clothes. He returns holding a pair of white jeans that are ripped in a few places. I never really understood what the fascination is with already ripped clothes. I think it'd be cheaper to buy less spendy jeans and just rip them yourself… But what do I know about fashion? "Try it on with these," I look at him oddly and decide to do what he says.

Taking the clothes, I maneuver to the dressing rooms, finding a vacant one and setting down my things. I look up and see myself staring back at me. Ew… A full body mirror. Just wonderful. The last time I looked at myself completely naked, I saw a small, seemingly pre-pubescent boy (even though I was 17) who needed to do some weight lifting…

This time, I'm a bit surprised. I have definitely grown. I peel off my clothes and notice that I'm filling out slightly in places I was simply too skinny before. I'm still… a bit skinny but not horribly, anymore. I don't really have any prominent muscles but I definitely have some sort of figure trying to manifest. Perhaps If Iwere to dosome light weightlifting …

But now isn't the time to lament on my physical being. I quickly pull on the new clothes and after basking in the new-clothes-feeling, I permit myself a look in the mirror. To my surprise… I look more than acceptable. I've never really seen a guy wearing white jeans but this looked pretty cool. It's ripped at the knee and it makes me look kind of tough (haha…yeah, I know), The shirt isn't too tight, but it doesn't hang off of me like all my other shirts did. The white design compliments the white, tight fitting jeans perfectly. Shinobu might be skilled in design, I muse. Overall, it seems to work. It somehow makes my green eyes stand out, and I can't help but feel that this is a good thing. It's odd how new clothes can make a person feel attractive, even though that might not necessarily be the case.

I turn around 180 degrees to face judgment and gasp when I notice a prominent _rip_ in the jeans right underneath my left buttock, threatening to reveal all if I bent down even in the slightest. Oh my god… Isn't that a bit… er… ostentatious? S-_Slutty_ even?! Could I really wear something like this? I just had to go and buy _briefs _for underwear, giving all my boxers to charity! What will Usagi-san think?! Either he'll love them or he'll loathe them. I groan ruefully when I picture Usagi-san trying to burn these pants with the look of divine retribution on his face. These probably aren't the best type of pants to buy while dating a man like him.

Before I can contemplate whether to show Shinobu or not, I hear his voice ripping through the dressing room.

"MISAKI! ARE YOU DONE YET? I WANT TO SEE IT!" I blush and flinch, holding the door as I feel the boy trying to push open.

"Stay out!" I say, trying with all my might to keep him on the other side.

"Are you kidding?! I want to see that outfit on you! Let. Me. In!" Each syllable is emphasized with a push on the door. When I realize he's not going to relent, I push out of the room. Did he have to be so loud all the time? I glare at him when I meet his face.

"Will you keep it down?! We're not the only ones in here!" He is about to retort until he pauses, gaping slightly at me with his mouth open. I furrow my brow. "What…?" I say tentatively. Shinobu drops his bags and leans on the wall, gripping his forehead. Is he suddenly ill? Oh god… do I have that sort of affect on people?!

I rush over to him and place my hand on his shoulders, so as not to allow him to fall. His hand is over his mouth and his face is flushed. Oh… Is he going to vomit?!

"S-Shinobu, are you okay?" He nods and then regains his composure, shaking his head. I feel relief washing over me, relief and sadness. I… Do I disgust him?

His voice is quiet and slow, but I can tell it's sincere."You look… You're breathtaking…" I feel my face heat up. I… I wasn't expecting that reaction at all. Butterflies are flocking in my stomach again. I smile nervously, trying to convince myself that Shinobu means it in a friendly way. It's not often that I hear compliments like that though.

"Th…Thank you," I say hesitantly, fighting back the treacherous blush on my face. I can't, however, allow Shinobu to think I took it the wrong, or in this case, correct way. "I think you look dazzling as well," I say with a smirk, making fun of his use of elegant words and refusing to acknowledge the literal and sincere meaning behind his compliment.

I noticed that the extent of my wit has increased as well, since I started hanging out with Shinobu., I don't know. Perhaps it's from Usagi-san… I know he's always blinding me with his sarcasm. I probably caught some of it.

Shinobu leaves me so I can change out of the store's clothes and back into my regular ones. I start to wonder about his reaction. I really don't find myself attractive… _Certainly_ not enough to the point where it will affect someone _physically_. I'm not ugly… But I'm not particularly captivating either, in my opinion.

… Except when it comes to the Usami family… They're all an enigma to me. Every last one of them… I shiver at the thought.

When I return, the new clothes slung over my arm, I start searching for Shinobu. I would put the clothes back but I've somehow grown attached to them, now…

… The ripped part in the ass is even growing on me…

I spot a shock of caramel in the sea of dark, traditional Japanese hair. Coming closer I recognize it as Shinobu but something's weird. He's talking to somebody.

Now… I know he has other friends, but the way he talks to this one, with his head down and hands in his pockets, scowl firmly plastered on his face, I can't help but think this isn't the _pleasant_ type of friend one would normally have.

The man who Shinobu is currently talking to wears more of a preppy style, his hair past the length of their ears. He's tall, probably only a bit shorter than Usagi-san, but I can tell by the youth in his face that he is no older than myself. He's wearing this amused smirk on his face that somehow infuriates me. I get closer, concealing my presence. Usually I wouldn't be so underhanded, but right now, I think, is no better time than to shamelessly listen in on somebody else's conversation. I don't like the way he looks at Shinobu. Screw tactfulness! I need none of it!

"Interesting… But surely you aren't so chivalrous, sweet Shinobu," The man leans in closer, brushing the younger boy's cheek with his hand. I can see Shinobu bristle and immediately brush away the unwanted touch.

"I told you before, Yamada," Shinobu's voice is calm and disinterested. "I have no interest in you. How many times do we have to go over this before you can get the point through your thick skull?" Shinobu's voice is laced slightly with what I can recognize as an Australian accent. I've never seen him look so frustrated. I can see 'Yamada's' lip quirk up in irritation, but he quickly hides it with amusement.

"You kissed me in our Junior year,"

"That was 'cause I was _dared_ to at the party! I hadn't even _looked_ at you until that night! Ugh! Please just leave me alone! I already told you I have a boyfriend," Yamada's cool composure is starting to disintegrate. His white teeth are bared now. He grabs Shinobu's arm and pulls him closer. Shinobu struggles to pull away, but to no avail.

… And it was in that moment that something inside of me cracked. It was as though someone threw a particularly dense rock at a windshield of a car, shattering it to pieces. Anger began to swell in my veins at the sight of that man so close to Shinobu. There is no justification as to why the man had grabbed him. He'd been properly and clearly rejected. I can't bear to stand back, idly and watch as this man disrespects my friend in such a dirty way.

"Excuse me," I say, stepping out from my coat rack and pulling Shinobu away from the arrogant ass. "I believe Shinobu has made his refusal clear. Please leave him alone," The man looks at me as if I had grown a second head.

"Oh? And who are you?" He asks rudely. His voice is taunting as if I'm of no significance to the situation. I narrow my eyes and am about to retort but Shinobu steps in front of us gesturing to me, a scowl stuck firmly on his face.

"He is my boyfriend!" He says, glaring daggers at the man in front of us. …Wait… What?!

"Huh?!" The attacker and I say it at the same time, looking at Shinobu now as if he were some sort of anomaly. I don't think the man noticed my reaction but instead rounded on Shinobu, gesturing to me.

"_This_ is your boyfriend?" He says the word '_this'_ as if I were a disgusting _thing_ and not a person. As if it's some incomprehensible thought that he just can't process. I can just see his thoughts- his expression is like looking into a window to his mind. _How can this thing be your boyfriend? Do you even know what you're saying? Are you on crack Shinobu-chan? Have you finally lost it?_

Somehow, I can't really disagree with him. I feel just as incredulous as Yamada-san does.

Shinobu nods, now looking almost nervously, as though rethinking his sudden decision. Yamada stands back and looks me over, scrutinizing me with his piercing black eyes.

"Somehow I pictured Miyagi to be… er… taller and not so… uh… _weak_ looking," I bristle, my eye developing a twitch. Who does he think he is? Talking crap about me while I'm standing two feet away. And… He said 'Miyagi,' So that means that Shinobu-chan must talk with this guy on a regular basis… I can't help but feel impending doom written all over this situation. I think Shinobu royally screwed up, and he knows it.

I feel Yamada staring at me, like he's expecting me to _confirm_ this ridiculous notion Shinobu dreamed up on the spot. I also realize that if I don't do something, Shinobu's going to look really stupid right now and possibly be harassed by this guy more in the future. I internally sigh, resigning to my fate and take Shinobu's hand in my own. I dramatize an angered and possessive look and glare up at him, pulling the younger boy close to my side.

"Yes, I'm his boyfriend, now if you'll kindly _excuse _us!" I spit the last words out and push past Yamada, dragging Shinobu with me. I'm not so lucky, however, and I see the man's hand on Shinobu's, pulling us to a halt.

"Hey—" I roll my eyes. I think I've had enough of this guy…

I pull Shinobu close to me, away from his grasp. Shinobu's eyes are alight in amazement and confusion. He doesn't know what to expect from me. Heh, who can blame him; Neither do I. It's all I can do in my mind to not scream out at the thought of what I'm about to do next. I can feel him tense when I crush our lips together, wrapping my arm tightly around his middle in what I hope is something possessive-looking. Soon, Shinobu relaxes into the kiss, wrapping his arms around my neck and allowing me to ravish his mouth with my tongue. His mouth is hot and it makes my head spin at how delicious he tastes. I kiss him as deeply and passionately as my knowledge allows and I look at Yamada the whole time. I hated the way he had looked at Shinobu back there. Like he was some piece of meat. It was disgusting and he had no right to touch him…

… Not like I do.

I hope he can feel the amount of hostility I'm trying to convey to him right now.

I break our kiss, but allow my lips to linger as I glare at Yamada. Shinobu is breathing heavily and his body is tense. "Don't you _ever_ touch Shinobu again," I say, my voice foreign, even to myself. Anger and adrenaline are mixing deliciously in my veins and I feel as if I could even kick this guy's ass if I tried. Is this how Usagi-san feels whenever he gets possessive and angry over me? The man before me looks at me, clearly astonished by my attitude, as though it wasn't something he had expected. Hell, _I_ wasn't even expecting it! I don't know if he's scared, but he backs away and soon leaves us. I'm pretty sure he's not scared, just surprised. I know that I'm not intimidating enough to scare even a mouse, but something about this situation is unnerving, even to myself. It's unexpected and definitely _wrong_.

Shinobu is still in my arms, breathing hard, pale face stained a deep red. His slate-colored eyes are sparkling and are dark with lust and admiration. Dear brother, looking at the flushed boy in my arms, I just realized a few dangerous things;

I'm in a department store with a small circle of people watching me with intrigue. I had just brawled with a very vengeful seme and, from the looks of it, won. There's a new zealous aura about me that scares me, and finally, I had just kissed a boy that is not my boyfriend out of my own free will… _possessively_ I might add…

… And along with all of the impulsiveness and uncertainty, I enjoyed every single second of it.

**xx**

…Kyahhh Misaki exploded into a seme! I wasn't intending on doing that… Not in this chapter at least xD I'm a bit scared of myself… Also suddenly there was a Yamada-kun… Was I going to put in an OC when I started writing this? Who is this overbearing sex beast? Is he going to cause problems for Misaki and Shinobu? I THINK SO :dooooom: xD Oh I'm mean. I love myself… Not particularly my writing but, myself of course bwahaha! :drowns in narcissism:

PLEASE REVIEW! It's the reason I updated… I've never gotten to 4 chapters before… Perhaps now I will? lol… It's up to you…


	4. To my readers

EDITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M GONNA CONTINUE THIS STORY LONG LIVE TERROR AND ROMANCE GAH! I was reading reviews and I was like "AHkrljgkdl;asfjksdal;g I CAN'T STOP HERE"

--

Dear readers,

I'm very sorry for not continuing this story and I'm sad to say that, if you haven't already guessed, it is on very long, if not permanent hiatus. I can't say truthfully that I will never write another chapter for this story again, but at the present it's very unlikely that I will anytime soon.

Please understand that there is good reason as to why I have stopped writing for nearly 2 years, and that is because last year and late the year before, my mother had been having serious problems with her health and I was unable to concentrate on anything else but her at the time. It had been very long and hard and she was in the hospital for 6 months until she passed away last summer at 42 years old.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to inform you of it until now, as I have been very busy and under a lot of stress and have been through a great deal overwhelming pain that I can't even describe. I do wish to keep writing, and I've just been starting to write again, but Terror and Romance cannot be continued right now and I'm sad for that. I know so many of you enjoyed it, despite the horribly non-canonness of it all, and I'm grateful that you've taken the time to leave me such lovely comments. I've read and appreciate them all very much. 77 reviews for 3 chapters is phenomenal and so much more than I ever expected, and I feel so guilty that it must come to an end so soon when it had barely begun.

I had high hopes for this story when I started it, I wanted it to become more than just some playful fun, and have a much deeper and serious tone at the end. Misaki and Shinobu are very loveable characters, and, as I adore both Usagi-san and Miyagi, there would have been a lot of hurt and pain, and writing something like that right now seems very impossible to me.

I hope you can understand why I must end it here, for however long, if not permanently. I wish to write for this story again one day, but right now I can't. Thank you for all the support you've given me, you've helped me more already than you know. I feel more confident as a writer and I can't wait to write more soon. Thank you very much and I'm truly sorry again.


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